


Fragile Strings, Shards of Glass

by Rainy_Summer



Series: NCT SOULMATE AU [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:54:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29324301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Summer/pseuds/Rainy_Summer
Summary: A month after their high school graduation, Jaemin decided to proceed with his plans and left to another country with hopes that one day, he could finally fulfill his dreams. Jeno found himself struggling to cope up with missing him while also struggling to navigate his new relationship with Renjun.With distance, challenges and pent up insecurities threatening to ruin the only thing that he was holding on to, Jeno had to find a way to make their relationship survive.In a world where people had their destined soulmates, Jeno learned the hard way that searching was not as difficult as trying to keep them together.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: NCT SOULMATE AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556095
Comments: 12
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

There was a time in Jeno's life when he didn't really understand the need for soulmates. He didn't understand why a simple tattoo could dictate which person they were supposed to be with. It was too controlling and too restricting to what the concept of love should be.

To some extent, Jeno felt that it was heartbreaking, especially when he had witnessed two people in his life break up because they weren't each other's "the one".

But that was long ago, long before he met his soulmates and realized how wonderful it felt to be around them, and how complete they made him feel. Maybe it was indeed true, that soulmates weren't different people but one separated in two, or in Jeno's case, three. Jeno had two soulmates, and in their situation, more made everything better.

A lot of people often considered Jeno to be lucky. In a world where people had to go through difficulties in order to find their soulmates, all Jeno had to do was wait, and life itself delivered them to him.

Jeno met Na Jaemin first, in the very first lesson that they were supposed to share. They had been an inseparable team since then, and they worked well as a duo before finally meeting the third of their team.

Both of them met Huang Renjun on their final year in high school, when the latter purposely traveled to a different country in order to look for them. Despite the rocky beginning, at least on Jeno and Renjun's part, they managed to work out the new dynamics and fit well into each other's life.

Maybe, some would really call Jeno lucky for meeting his soulmates early and easily, but at that moment, when Jeno was standing with his soulmates in the airport while listening to the speaker call on to the dreadful flight's passengers, he wondered if that was really the case.

Was he even lucky at all to find his soulmates only to part ways with one of them later on?

"That's my flight, " Jaemin said with a bittersweet smile. Jeno instinctively hold on to his hand tighter, not wanting to let him go just yet. He didn't want to let him go at all.

Jeno never had a good relationship with goodbyes. Goodbyes left a bad taste in his mouth. The last person who said goodbye to him never returned, and Jeno was scared of the idea that Jaemin might do the same.

He had been with Jaemin the longest. He had envisioned a life with him. Just the thought of him disappearing from his life, for good, was enough to squeeze out the oxygen from him. He might not survive that scenario. 

When Jaemin first mentioned about his plan to leave, Jeno reacted negatively and aggressively. He was very much opposed to the idea. He remembered crying about it the entire day when fears and memories attacked him all at once. It took an effort from Jaemin to get him to listen to the explanation on why he had to leave.

Jaemin had always wanted to follow his father's path and become a soccer player, but an accident that injured his left leg prevented him from doing so. The leg managed to heal, enough so that he could walk properly, but not enough to enable him to play the sport he loved.

Despite the doctors' advice, Jaemin would often sneak out to train which only lead to his injury relapsing over and over again.

Jaemin was both headstrong and determined. He never gave up on his dream. So, when he got in contact with a Japanese doctor who said the opposite of what his Korean doctors' said, Jaemin knew he had to jump onto that opportunity, knowing that it would probably be his last.

To Jeno, being separated shouldn't be an option. They weren't supposed to be apart.

But unhappiness should also not be an option to Jaemin. Jeno might never be able to understand his passion for his dream as Jeno had none of his own, but what he could understand was that he loved Jaemin and he wanted him to be happy, even if that happiness was at the cost of being away from each other.

But that was then. It was a conversation that happened a couple of years ago. He might have felt that he would be okay back then, but it was a different scenario when Jaemin was about to board the plane. His fears felt real, and the voices inside his head were taunting him relentlessly.

Jaemin was going to leave him.

He was never going to come back.

The voices were loud and persistent leaving no option for Jeno not to listen. As much as he tried to argue with them that it wasn't the truth, he didn't believe in it enough to defeat those voices.

Jeno felt like throwing up and melting at the same time. He wanted to escape. He wanted to run away from that moment or simply stop the time.

There was a hand suddenly holding on to Jeno's wrist which took him by surprise. It took a while for him to identity to whom it belonged to. It was Renjun's.

Renjun rubbed circles on his wrist comfortingly, distracting him from the voices he was hearing. "It's fine, Jeno, " He said. "Before you know it, Jaemin is already back with us. You don't have to worry. He'll come backback! All we have to do is wait." He paused, only to give Jeno a reassuring smile. "And don't worry. You'll still have me! You're not going to be alone."

It was as if Renjun's words were magical that the voices abruptly disappeared because of him. Jeno turned his attention back to Jaemin once more before allowing Renjun to pull his hand off of their other boyfriend. 

Perhaps, Jeno was really lucky to have two soulmates. It was a kind gesture of the universe because Jeno had always been afraid of being alone.

Renjun wasn't a replacement to Jaemin. Not at all. Jaemin was irreplaceable to him and Renjun was just as special. But perhaps, being with Renjun when Jaemin was gone would make the wait for the latter's return more bearable.

"I'll be back, " Jaemin reassured them once again. "And when I do, you're going to be proud of dating a soon to be professional soccer player. "

"We're proud of you already, " Renjun replied. "So come back fast and let's all be happy together. "

"I'll miss you, Nana, " Jeno said when Jaemin finally turned to him. His soulmate's expression melted into sadness and regret mimicking the one that Jeno had on his face.

"I'll miss you, too, " Jaemin replied. "Both of you. It felt as if it has not been long since we found Renjun and now I'm breaking the three of us apart again. I hate this. I hate this, but at the same time, I know that this isn't something that I could pass on without regretting in the future. I have to leave. But I promise, when I come back, I'll make sure to never leave again. "

Jeno wasn't one to believe in promises after witnessing a lot of them be broken before. But he had to trust that Jaemin would be different. They were soulmates after all, and Jaemin loved him more than anybody else loved him before. He would be different.

So even if it was hard not to let go after that one final hug, and even when his heart broke when Jaemin turned his back and walked away, there wasn't anything much he could do but to wait and to trust that soon, Jaemin would return to them.

♡♡♡

To wait was easily said than done.

Patience was thin when everywhere Jeno looked at reminded him of his soulmate, from their pictures on the wall, the pillow they both laid their head on, to the blankets that the two of them shared before. It was not easy to wake up and realize that Jaemin wouldn't be coming over to take him to places because Jeno shouldn't be home all he time, or to simply hang out with him because Jeno shouldn't be alone. It wasn't easy to maneuver his life when the person who used to be with him all the time wasn't going to be there to guide him anymore.

It was difficult to wait, but even more to do things other than to wait. Jeno had the urge to just stay in his room all day and to rot in there, very much like how he was before Jaemin and him met. But he was a child then, and he wasn't anymore a child. He was expected to act maturely compared to before.

And Jaemin wouldn't want him to do that. When Jaemin first called him after arriving in Japan, his soulmate made sure to ask Jeno how he was doing, and how he was preparing for college. Jaemin asked him to do well because he knew that Jeno would be able to do great.

Except maybe he couldn't.

It was probably too late to realize that he had been too dependent on Jaemin in a very unhealthy manner.

He wouldn't go to classes if Jaemin wouldn't go with him. If ever Jaemin got sick and was unable to attend their classes, then he would skip for that reason as well. He would go to places, only if Jaemin would go with him, and he wouldn't leave unless he could take Jaemin with him.

It was probably the reason why he took business management as his major, even if didn't interest him at all. Jaemin picked it, and the only way he would be able to attend college was if he's going to do it with Jaemin. That was during the time when he's still in denial, or maybe, hopeful. That was when he was still thinking that Jaemin would maybe change his mind and stay.

Obviously he didn't, and while Jeno didn't hate Jaemin for it, he still felt at loss. How was he going to survive college without Jaemin?

"That's it! I'm calling Jaemin! "

Jeno was slightly surprised to hear another person in his room. He quickly turned his head to the side to look at that person, and saw Renjun standing by the door with his arms crossed.

"I'm calling Jaemin, and I'm going to tell him that you're slacking off with packing. How are you supposed to move out in five days? "

Despite how frustrated Renjun looked, Jeno couldn't help but smile. The threat had become a common thing between them.

Jeno didn't fill up his forms in time? Renjun would call Jaemin.

Jeno wasn't eating properly? He'd call Jaemin.

Jeno wanted to sleep all day? Just wait because the line was already ringing.

A part of Jeno wanted to tell him that the threat wasn't working at all. He wasn't scared of talking to Jaemin. He thrived to hear his voice. If anything, the threat seemed tempting, as it was convincing him to act out more often.

But of course, he would never tell Renjun that, especially when Renjun was trying his best to make sure that Jeno would be okay.

"Did you come here to scold me? " he asked, while feigning hurt. It immediately melted the frustrations that Renjun was feeling.

"I came to check on how you're doing, " Renjun replied after sighing. "And to help you in case you need help. " He then pointed out to the scattered clothes on the floor, empty boxes, and unorganized luggage. "I'm pretty sure you do. Seriously? Five days, Jeno! How are you going to make it?"

Jeno pouted but didn't argue with Renjun's observation. Indeed, he was really slacking off on packing. As much as he didn't want to live in that house anymore, he wasn't all that excited to move out either.

"I lack motivation, " he admitted, causing Renjun to sigh once again. "Maybe I'll be excited if we're moving in together? "

It had always been his dream to leave that house and to stay somewhere else with Jaemin once they could. Renjun was later included in that dream when he finally came to them. With Jaemin gone, Jeno had hopes that he could still live that dream with Renjun.

But Renjun had different plans. Renjun rejected the offer in favor of living with his friend, and it never sat well with Jeno.

Renjun sighed once again, but this time around, he didn't do it out of frustration.

He smiled before walking towards the bed that Jeno was sitting on. He settled down on the space next to his soulmate and rested his hand on the latter's shoulder.

"You know that it doesn't mean that I'm picking Donghyuck over you, right? " Renjun asked. "Or that I like him more than I like you? "

Jeno averted his gaze.

He had always been like that— possessive. He didn't like the idea of other people being close to his soulmates. He always had a feeling that they would take them away.

It didn't help that Renjun got closer to Donghyuck first, although admittedly, that was also Jeno's own doing. But still, he was afraid that Renjun would one day pick Donghyuck over him and he found it hard to convince himself that it wasn't going to happen.

"O…kay, " Renjun said while biting his lips. "I think I need to explain it better. Do you know that moving with you weighs more than moving in with Donghyuck? "

Jeno furrowed his eyebrow but didn't say a word.

"The thing is, moving in with Donghyuck doesn't hold much of a responsibility. We'll be roommates. There isn't anything special with that. We also have the same major, so I guess it is even more convenient for us to stay together. Moving in with you on the other hand, ah, how should I put it? It's a huge romantic leap don't you think? "

Jeno quirked an eyebrow at Renjun's last question as he slowly began to realize what Renjun was getting into.

"Moving in with you means we will not just be roommates. We're soulmates after all. So, yes, it's a huge romantic leap. I don't think I'm ready for that, yet. "

When realizations were finally completed, Jeno suddenly felt the urge to be ashamed even when he didn't think that that was what he had been trying to do all along.

"I didn't mean to pressure you, " he quickly denied. "And I'm sorry if that's what I've been making you feel. "

It wasn't even a year since they met Renjun, and it wasn't even long since they started entertaining romantic involvement. Thinking about it, Renjun really had a reason to not want to move in with him.

"Im really sorry of you feel like I'm rushing you to do things you aren't comfortable to do yet. I admit I feel jealous, but you explained it to me well, and I think you really have a reason to not want to move in with me. "

"For the record, it's not that I don't want to move in with you, " Renjun clarified with a smile. "Just not yet. And I also think that perhaps, it will be more romantic to do it once Jaemin finally return? For all of us to move in together at the same time? "

Jeno lacked the tact to not laugh about that, but in his defense, it wasn't that he was laughing at Renjun's idea. If anything, he was just amused to see this side of Renjun.

How could he not realize that among the three of them, Renjun would be the most romantic, when he crossed the ocean just to look for them?

He at least had the decency to stop when he noticed the offended look on Renjun's face.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't laughing at you. That's really romantic, I think! "

Renjun blushed and removed his hand from Jeno's shoulder. "You don't have to tease me about it! "

"I'm not, " he denied. "I'm really not and I guess, it makes perfect sense. "

"You do? "

"Yes, " he replied when Renjun looked unsure if Jeno was still teasing him or not. "And I like that you're explaining things to me. I guess sometimes, or most of the times, I forget about boundaries. I am bad at those things so please tell me if I'm trying to push yours and making you feel very uncomfortable. "

Renjun gave him a skeptical look that made him feel nervous. He wondered if he said something wrong.

"What? "

Renjun sighed. "Nothing. I guess I am just surprised. "

Jeno pouted when he realized what Renjun was talking about. "I'm not the bad! "

Although he was sure that he wasn't good either. Jeno knew that he came off selfish and arrogant most of the times, and honestly, he never really cared. What people think of him wasn't important, except if those people happened to be his soulmates.

Although he wouldn't be surprised if Renjun had that same first impression of him. He had been so possessive of Jaemin that he tried to drive Renjun away.

"Yes, you're not that bad, " Renjun said when he noticed Jeno's internal turmoil. "Otherwise, I wouldn't even put up with you, " he teased, although Jeno wondered if that would have been really the case. "And about boundaries, don't worry. I will not be shy to tell you when you cross one. "

Of course he wouldn't. He was Renjun after all. He was blunt and honest, yet caring at the same time. That's probably the reason why Jeno liked him.

"So if that's the case, can you tell me if this is crossing a boundary? "

Before Renjun could even ask what he was talking about, Jeno surged forward to press his lips on him.

It was a very short-lived kiss, just their lips pressing lightly against each other, a quick peck, yet enough to leave Renjun stunned when Jeno pulled away.

Maybe it really was crossing boundaries? Perhaps, he should have asked first. What if Renjun wasn't into kissing unlike Jaemin and him?

"I'm —"

Renjun cut him off by raising his hand just when Jeno was about to apologize. "Don't. I'm just surprise, that's all. And no, you didn't cross boundaries by kissing me. "

Jeno couldn't help bit break into a smile. "That's good to hear. I'm planning to do it over and over again. "

Renjun rolled his eyes and playfully groaned. "Yes, but can you do that once we finish packing? Come on, we have to work fast! "

"But I'm too lazy, " he lied just to tease his boyfriend only for the said boyfriend to throw a pillow at his direction. 

"Get to work, Lee Jeno! "

Jeno sighed. Renjun really had creative ways to convince him to function again, and honestly, he was thankful for that.

Renjun was already on the floor, folding clothes and putting them inside his luggage. Jeno was about to join him when his phone began to ring. He quickly grabbed it knowing that there's only one person who would want to call him. And he wasn't wrong. He quickly turned to Renjun who was already looking at him expectantly.

"It's Nana. "

Renjun quickly abandoned the clothes on the floor to quickly join him on the bed once again. Jeno answered the call.

The first thing that greeted them was the faded pink strands of Jaemin's hair before their soulmate adjusted his hold on the phone to show his face. Renjun moved closer to him so that both of them could be seen in the camera.

"Hi Jeno! Oh, hi Renjun! It's nice to see the two of you getting along. "

"Jeno is too lazy to pack his own things, but I think I can put up with that."

Jeno turned to Renjun, surprised at his sudden betrayal, only to hear Jaemin laugh amusedly about it. "Oh, my, please help him. I think I forgot to teach him how to fold. "

"Yes, and I'm reaping the fruits of your neglect. How could you, Jaemin? " Renjun continued to tease. "But seriously speaking, how are you? "

"I'm good, " Jaemin replied. "I'm the earliest bird in the university dorm. Wait, let me show you something. "

Jaemin virtually toured him in his room, showing off random objects while talking about the things he did ever since he arrived there. He looked so happy, which only gave Jeno more reasons to be patient about their distance. It was all for Jaemin's good. It was all for Jaemin's happiness.

"…and through this window, I can see the cherry blossom tree in full bloom during spring. Wouldn't that be beautiful? " he asked. They didn't get to say something in return when Jaemin excitedly changed the subject.

"Tomorrow will be my first appointment to my doctor. I have a good feeling about it. Who knows? Maybe at the end of this semester, I can finally come back!"

The Jaemin that Jeno knew had always been like that, positive and hopeful. His energy was so radiating that despite their distance, Jeno could feel that energy reaching him and making him think the same.

"I hope so, too," he said. "I already miss you. "

Jaemin smiled a little sadly. "And I miss both of you, too. Don't worry, this leg will heal soon, and when it does, I'll board the fastest flight to get to you. But for now," he paused and even when he was looking at both of them, Jeno knew that the follow up message was directed at him. "Let's endure a little bit more. Let's try not to be so sad about being apart. Days will pass by and soon, it will be over. I'll come back, and I'll be with both of you once again. "

Jeno knew that it would be hard not to feel that way on days that he missed him, but perhaps, he had to try. Seeing the hopeful and happy expression on Jaemin's face, Jeno didn't want to be the reason for them to disappear. He had to try, harder, this time. He had to try and be happy for Jaemin's sake.

"We'll still miss you, of course, " Renjun chose to answer, his hand reaching out to touch Jeno's own. "But we'll try to be happy with our lives so don't worry. Just focus on healing yourself and I… " He nudged his head at Jeno's direction. "I'll make sure he's fine. "

Jaemin nodded knowingly. "Food three times a day, okay? " he teased.

Renjun chuckled. He squeezed Jeno's hand before nodding. "I'll make sure he'll survive. We'll both survive."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inked is not finished yet, but I decided to post this chapter as a teaser. I hope you'll enjoy this, too. Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

Schools had always been a nightmare to Jeno for as long as he could remember. Back when he was young and everything about his life was still normal, there was a time when he thought that school was fun. That was way before that life-changing event happened and everything, including school, began to take its turn. School then became a place filled with uncomfortable questions, gossips and relentless teasing.

The only reason why Jeno ended up going to a normal high school was Jaemin. He didn't like the idea of Jaemin going back to his friends and leaving him behind. He didn't like the idea of losing him to other people, which was why he decided to join the latter despite finding it hard to wake up every morning and interact with other people.

It was always about Jaemin, and because he wasn't there with him anymore, Jeno found it difficult to sit through his classes without having the urge to storm off.

Admittedly, if Jeno had the option, he would most-likely shift his major to music, just so he could be with Renjun. He wasn't interested in it, but he wasn't interested in anything to begin with. All he ever wanted was to go to college to finally leave home, and if he could do it with one if his soulmates, it would only make things better.

But the slots in Renjun's department were very limited, and was already filled long ago, so Jeno was stuck on his own.

Jeno couldn't remember the amount of times another student tried to approach him, only for him to just stare in response. Interacting with other people had never been interesting to him. He disliked strangers. He didn't like having new people in his life. When someone new came into his life, it was always a disaster. Except Renjun, because he was Jeno and Jaemin's soulmate. He was more of a blessing rather than a disaster.

It was just the first day in the university, and Jeno already felt as if he had travelled back to the old days, listening to the other students who were talking about him while waiting for their professor to come.

"What's up with him? I tried talking to him but it's as if I'm talking air. "

"Yeah, I went to the same high school as him. He's a fucking weirdo. He only sticks to his soulmate and pretty much ignores everyone else. I heard he has some mommy issues. "

His nails immediately dug on his palm. Jeno had never been one to control his temper and hold back from a fight. It was was what got him kicked out a lot of times in elementary, and it was the primary reasons why he had to be home-schooled. He hated that people couldn't mind their own business. He hated that they're prying into his issues.

But as much as he wanted to stand up and throw a punch, he had to hold back. It was just the beginning of the semester, and Jeno made a promise to Jaemin since high school that he would never resort to violence ever again. He didn't want his first news to Jaemin to be that of a disciplinary action. He didn't want to worry him. He didn't want to disappoint him.

He had to endure, even when the loud whispers behind him continued. The class would only last for three hours. That should be quick enough for him to pretend that he was deaf to their gossips.

The door finally opened, and their professor finally came in. She went straight to the front and addressed them in a chirpy voice. Jeno already knew that he wasn't going to like her.

"Alright class. Let's start by getting to know each other. Tell us something about yourselves. "

Jeno mentally groaned. It was going to be a long day.

♡♡♡

It was easy to feel inferior when he met Renjun during lunch, and found the latter adjusting well on their first day of classes. It probably wasn't supposed to be a surprised anymore. Renjun had always faired well to changes, he even left his own country to look for his soulmates. He was that strong, unlike Jeno who only thrived in whatever was constant to him.

"So how is your first day so far? " Renjun asked as he started digging in his lunch. "Made new friends? "

Jeno scrunched up his nose in response. Renjun should already know by then that making friends was never Jeno's goal. There were only two people whom he wanted in his life, which were of course, his soulmates.

"It was like shit, " he admitted, a little furiously, after remembering how his morning class went. "I want to go home already. "

Renjun grimaced at his response before looking at him with a disgusted look. "We're eating, " he pointed out, a silent reminder for Jeno to choose his words better. "And what do you mean? It's just the first day. It couldn't be that bad? "

He had to endure his professor's chirpy voice and the other students' suspicious looks. He had to stand in front of the class and introduce himself in front of the others, which was hard, because the familiar faces of his soulmates weren't there for him to look at. He stumbled on his words and accidentally introduced himself as Jaemin, which of course, didn't make sense to the professor. In the end, he got himself laughed at and earned the title of a weirdo. It wasn't something new, but it was easier to ignore when he wasn't on his own.

"I hate it, " he confessed. "I hate sitting inside that room. I hate everyone in my class. I hate that you and Nana aren't there with me. I hate everything about it!"

Renjun winced at his sudden outburst before subtly guiding Jeno's hand to pick his chopsticks. "It's just the first day, anyway," he told Jeno while trying to sound like it wasn't a problem. "We're all adjusting. It will get better soon. Besides, we still have classes we share together, right? "

When enrollment came, the two of them made sure to match up their courses to try and take some classes together. In all honesty, Jeno appreciated that Renjun was making efforts to be there for him everytime he could, just so Jeno wouldn't feel like he was on his own. He was thankful for it.

But the problem was with him, because it was hardly enough. He had been too used to being attached to either of his soulmates, that a few classes shared weren't enough for him. It was difficult for him to cope up.

"If only dropping out wouldn't mean going back to that place, then I probably would have done it already. I don't even know why I am even doing this anyway. "

Renjun sighed as he reached out to touch Jeno's hand. "Maybe you just need to find something to like about your classes? "

"I'll only like it if I'm sharing it with you. "

Renjun sighed once more while contemplating his next word. "I mean except that. Maybe try to appreciate your courses? And if it still doesn't work out until the end of semester, maybe try to find what you're really interested in? Independent of whether it involves Jaemin or me. You can't keep making choices based on whether Jaemin and I would also be there. It… just doesn't work like that. "

Renjun had always been the more honest one between his soulmates. When Jaemin would rather let his behavior slide most of the time, Renjun would most likely call him out on it. It was a little bit uncomfortable at first, but he had learned that Renjun wasn't doing it to be mean. That he was doing it with Jeno's betterment in mind. And most of the time, Renjun was right.

"And I know it's still difficult, I understand, " Renjun added with a smile. "But I hope it will help to know that you can always come to me when you need help. "

"Thanks, " he replied as he entwined their fingers. "I'm just bad at doing things on my own."

Renjun patted his cheeks lightly before ruffling his hair. "You'll get better in time. I know you can make it."

Jeno could only wish that that would really be the case.

♡♡♡

Renjun tried.

He tried to keep his promise to be there whenever Jeno needed his help, even when he had to add loads to his schedules by accompanying Jeno in the library to do research that didn't even concern his program. He tried so hard.

But as the semester progressed, and their individual courses became even more demanding, it was difficult to find time to spend with each other, other than during the classes they shared.

Jeno still didn't interact with anybody else, except when his courses mandated him to, while Renjun on the other hand had gotten himself some new friends.

And that was a problem— Jeno's problem, as he's the only one with issues about it.

Adjusting to college life was already hard enough, but it was even harder when it was the reason why Renjun was spending less time with him and more time with his new friends. Jeno hated changes and having new people around, but more so when those people got close to the important people in his life.

With all the stress piling up in his head brought on by the work load and longing for his two soulmates, it was just too easy to listen to the voices in his head. It was just too easy to believe them when they said that those people were bad news, and that those people were going to take Renjun away.

Jaemin had never chosen anybody else in place of Jeno. Jeno had always been his top priority, and Jaemin was the same to him. That was what Jeno was used to, so when Renjun began cancelling their dates in favor of meeting up with them, he was quick to be suck up by doubts and paranoia.

What if Renjun found someone else to like?

Jeno had not been good to him in the beginning, and he also had a lot of issues which Renjun might find burdensome. They hadn't been together for that long, and Renjun could still change his mind.

People could still make him change his mind.

The thing was, despite their rough beginning, Jeno had already grown attached to his soulmate. He knew that he wanted to be with Renjun, and that he didn't want to lose him, which was why he decided to beg Renjun when the latter first thought that leaving Jaemin and Jeno alone was the best option for all of them. That was the time when Jeno first acknowledged that he wanted Renjun in his life and that he would fight to make him stay, no matter what.

That he would fight whoever person that would dare to take him away.

Jeno wasn't one to make the sanest decisions in life, especially when he was acting purely on impulse. Following Renjun to his meet up just happened to be a very impulsive decision.

Jeno just couldn't help it. He couldn't help his curiosity and suspicions. Who was this person that convinced Renjun to cancel on him? Who was this person that his soulmate would rather spend his time with?

The view that greeted him from the window made it easy to convince him to draw a conclusion, especially when he saw Renjun smiling while talking to the other person.

Renjun wasn't supposed to smile to anybody like that, as it was only reserved for Jaemin and him. And he also wasn't supposed to be having a date with anybody else other than his soulmate.

What he felt during that moment was a mixture of both hurt and betrayal. Renjun was supposed to be his soulmates. His. He shouldn't be entertaining other guys aside from Jaemin and him.

Jeno was conflicted if it was a good thing that he had lingered long enough for Renjun to finally notice him. It was probably a random movement, or maybe a soulmate magnetism, that caused Renjun to suddenly turn to his direction.

Renjun's first reaction was to wave at him, until he began piecing things together and realized that it wasn't a coincidence that he found Jeno there. He smacked his palm on his forehead before excusing himself from his date.

When Renjun finally made it out of the cafe, he quickly beckoned Jeno to come to him. Jeno hesitated, but he figured that it wasn't him who should be nervous in the situation.

"You followed me, " Renjun said in an accusing manner while crossing his arms, when Jeno was finally standing in front of him.

Jeno felt guilty at first, but he was later reminded of what he had seen through the window.

"You're having a date with him, " he said, while pointing at the person whom Renjun was initially with.

For a while, Renjun only gaped at him. He opened his mouth a couple of times to say something but no words came out. Groaning, he took Jeno by the wrist and dragged him inside the cafe, where Renjun decide to introduce him to his date.

"Oh, " his date said in surprised when Jeno came in with Renjun. "You brought a friend over? "

Jeno scowled. He wasn't a friend. He was Renjun's soulmate. Who the hell was that person anyway?

Renjun sighed. "Actually, Yangyang, he's my soulmate. "

Yangyang's mouth widened in surprise. "Oh, wow, sorry for the confusion. "

Jeno scowled even more. "Well you should be more sorry that you're hitting on him. "

Yangyang leant back on his seat while Renjun covered his face with his hand in shame. "I'm sorry, you said I'm doing what? "

Jeno was about to speak again, but Renjun stopped him by covering his mouth with his hand. "He is very confused, ignore him. He doesn't know what he's talking about. "

Jeno groaned in protest. Of course he did. He saw enough.

Yangyang switched between looking at each of them before finally sighing and putting his arms in the air.

"I'm sorry, I really think you're mistaking. We're only here for these. "

Yangyang motioned to the papers on the table, music sheets that Jeno never learned how to read. Renjun chose that moment to finally let him go.

"It's okay Yangyang, it's not your fault, " he then turned to Jeno to give him a sharp look. "I already told him I am meeting a classmate for a project. "

Yangyang laughed awkwardly. "O…kay. I guess let's just email each other for the rest? "

"Yes. I guess that's going to be the plan now. "

Yangyang collected his files and shot them both a polite look before scrambling away.

Only when Jeno was already occupying the seat that Yangyang abandoned, did shame and regret finally dawned upon him.

"I'm —"

"I'm offended. " Renjun cut him off before he could apologize. "Do you really think that I… that I will cheat on both Jaemin and you? "

Jeno winced, only realizing how stupid he had acted. Renjun had already told him that the reason why he had to cancel their date was because his professor had given them a sudden project that needed to be submitted on the coming week. And yet, Jeno had preferred to trust the voices in his head rather than his own soulmate.

"But you meet him in a cafe, " he tried to reason, even when he himself found the argument pathetic.

"But it wouldn't matter where I meet him. It could be at the library, at a park or at the cafeteria, but you will still have a problem with it, right? The problem isn't the place. The problem is that you wouldn't like me to meet him or anybody else. "

Jeno stayed silent. It was true after all that he wasn't comfortable whenever Renjun spend time other people.

Renjun groaned once again before standing up, angrily. "I'm too stressed to deal with this right now. "

Renjun had never walked out on him before, not even during high school when Jeno was being stubborn. It only showed that this time around, Jeno had exceeded Renjun's limit.

Jeno stood up to call him and to apologize properly. But as he was about to open his mouth, a huge accident happened when Renjun tried to walk through the glass door.

♡♡♡

Renjun wasn't all that pissed with him anymore, which was a blessing, and his nose had long stopped bleeding after accidentally bumping the glass door.

Jeno was able to apologize in the end and admitted that it was his mistake for jumping into conclusion. They also talked about Jaemin, and how disappointed he would be once he found out that the two of them fought again. They made up, but there were a lot of things that they still needed to talk about, which was why Renjun invited him over at his apartment that he happened to share with another friend.

The first sight that greeted them was the messy living room. Donghyuck was lounging on the sofa while busily scanning through the papers on the small table.

Renjun loudly sighed. "Great! " he exclaimed sarcastically, which caught his roommate's attention. "Make sure to clean up all the mess or you're dead to me. "

"You could have said hello first, " Donghyuck said while rolling his eyes before finally turning his attention to Jeno. "What's up? "

Jeno just scrunched his face in response. He curiously looked at the pieces of paper and read the name Lee Haechan on a certificate of registration from a different university. He didn't pay much attention to it as it didn't really concern him.

"Please tell me you at least finished your project before you started that shit again, " Renjun said with a very tired and irritated voice.

"What project? " Donghyuck asked, and Renjun hit his own forehead. "The one that's due next week. "

Donghyuck shrugged before his turning back to the papers in front of him. "That could wait. Love couldn't. "

Renjun let out an exaggerated sigh before turning to Jeno. "And that's an example that you aren't supposed to follow. Don't neglect everything for love. "

Jeno winced but nevertheless allowed Renjun to pull him into his room. Renjun immediately shut the door behind him.

"Sit, " Renjun told him while motioning on the bed. Jeno immediately followed him like an obedient puppy and sat next to the Moomin plushy that he had given to Renjun as an apology gift. His boyfriend chuckled amusedly.

Renjun placed his things on the table before turning back to him. "Do you want to watch a movie? "

Jeno looked at him confusedly. "I thought you want to talk more. "

Renjun shrugged. He picked up his laptop and turned it on. "I want to but I also want to spend time with you. We've been so busy in the past days, right? "

They were, and the lesser amount of time that they spent with each other contributed to Jeno's mindset. He was burned out and he missed his soulmates, but it still wasn't enough reason for him to act that way.

Renjun joined him in bed and beckoned him to come closer. He placed the laptop on Jeno's lap.

"Pick a movie. "

Jeno moved it back on his boyfriend lap. "I'm okay with whatever you want to watch. I don't have a specific movie that I want to watch. "

Jeno wasn't much into movies, and maybe anything in particular. He mostly just go on with whatever choices Jaemin would pick in the past. He didn't care. As long as he could do thing with his soulmate, he's happy.

Renjun transfered the laptop on his lap once again. "Anything at all? "

Renjun cocked his head to the side, which looked too adorable in Jeno's opinion. "Please? "

Jeno found it hard to say no as he scrolled through the list of movies and just clicked on something randomly. He wondered if Renjun noticed what he did and just didn't call him out on it.

"That's a good choice. I haven't watch it yet. Let's watch it together!"

Jeno must admit it felt a little foreign to him to find himself in the middle of Renjun and his giant Moomin plushy. He had never stayed in the same bed with Renjun, or rather, they had never lay down on the same bed before.

He wasn't foreign to skinship, as Jaemin and him did more than cuddling in the past before, but it was a different feeling to have to share the same pillow with Renjun, the latter's head rolling on Jeno's shoulder, and his breath fanning on Jeno's neck as he laugh on the jokes that the actors made.

Jeno instinctively shuffled closer to get more of the pleasant warmth that his soulmate was radiating. He tried to enjoy the movie, but he found it hard to focus when he was busy trying to memorize Renjun's every reaction.

When the credits finally rolled and Renjun had placed the laptop next to their feet, Renjun returned to his previous position and wrapped an arm around Jeno's waist. He froze.

"Is this okay? " Renjun asked when he noticed Jeno's reaction. "Do you want me to give you space? "

"No, " he quickly replied while turning around so that they could face each other. "I… I like this. "

Renjun smiled when Jeno placed his arm on his back. "Good. I like this, too. "

Of all the rough things that happened during the past days, this moment was the only thing that Jeno needed in order to feel better. He just wanted to hold Renjun close and trace his features with his eyes and fingers.

"Are you still up for the talking? "

Jeno sighed. He just remembered that that was the real reason why he ended up coming to Renjun's apartment anyway.

He nodded reluctantly.

"I promise, it's not that bad, " Renjun said while pinching his cheek lightly, causing Jeno to scowl. "You know that I love you, right?"

Jeno nodded.

"And you do know that I only want the best for you, right? "

"I do. "

"Then I'm going to be honest with you right now." Renjun took a deep breath, his hand began playing with Jeno's hair. "I really like it that you want to spend most of your time with me, and believe it or not, I want that, too. But, we have to admit that we can't spend all of our times together. We have other things to do. "

"I understand that," he replied, albeit, reluctantly. "It's just that sometimes, I find it really hard to cope up. But I promise, I'll try not to interfere with your studies like earlier. And I'll try not to be jealous and possessive anymore. "

Renjun smiled. "Well, that's good. But there is something more that I want you to do. I want you to focus on yourself, too. On your own studies. And maybe work on dealing with other people as well? "

Jeno hesitated. "I don't really feel comfortable around others, but if it's about your classmates, then I'll —"

Renjun shushed him by pressing his fingers on Jeno's lips. "It's not about me, though. It's about you. I understand not wanting to be friends, because that could happen. But at least, I wish you'll be able to deal with being around others more. I'm just worried. We're growing up. It's college now, and soon we'll be taking on the world on our own. Or maybe together. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that it's going to be harder in the future, so I would really be happy if you'll start thinking about it now. "

He sighed. "I guess I haven't thought about it then. When I found Nana, I was just so happy to not be alone again and I guess that had been my focus since then. I honestly didn't have a plan for my future so the problem didn't come across me until you pointed it out. I guess you're right. "

The problem was that he didn't know how to start. He didn't know how to approach people and he was sure that he had long threw away his social etiquette.

"You don't have to rush it though, " Renjun whispered. "Step by step? You'll be able to do it in a long run. "

"I'll try, " he replied. "But I can still run to you when everything gets too uncomfortable, right? "

"Of course! I will never turn you away. You're my soulmate. "

Jeno nodded. "Then I guess, I'll try harder from now on. "

"Good, " Renjun said with a fond smile. "It's already late. "

"Do you want me to leave now? "

His boyfriend shook his head. "You can stay. "

Jeno hesitated. "I didn't bring extra clothes with me. "

"I have some that could fit you. "

"I didn't bring my toothbrush. "

"I bought one for you, just in case. "

Jeno blinked confusedly.

"You're not the only one who wants to spend time with your soulmate, Jeno. I do, too. "

Jeno smiled. "Does this mean I can come over whenever I want to? "

Renjun rolled his eyes before shrugging. "Just make sure you finish your homework first. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some reference to From Bleeding Heart to Bleeding Nose, specifically the bleeding nose part. Lol.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comment if you like the story! 💚


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